BE FREE

For the past three weeks, my time has been completely consumed with studio work, writing new material and stuff, and I really haven't had a chance to blog as regularly as I had hoped. However, I decided to take a break and share a thought or two. A few days ago, I watched a documentary about the late Nina Simone. As she played the keys of the piano, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes... a position I have taken many times when I play. It was as if she transcended somewhere else and left the rest of us here to enjoy the beauty of the melodies that she was playing. She was free. Interestingly, in the documentary, she says that freedom is to have "no fear at all", and the closest we ever get to being 'free' is the state of a child. Children follow the desires of their hearts and are completely uninhibited in doing so. I guess that is freedom.

As we get older, we become more cautious and apprehensive about our approaches and pursuits of the desires of our hearts. We think and over-think things to the point where we convince ourselves that there will be certain pitfalls and roadblocks ahead to preclude us from reaching our goals or being successful. In effect, we condition ourselves to believe that we are not free to proceed and/or progress due to some supposed external condition beyond our control. Notwithstanding the oppressive conditions to which Nina Simone was referring in the documentary, in many other instances we often hinder ourselves. Of course, seldom do we admit to restricting our own progress because of our own uncertainties and timidity. It's easier to succumb to the restrictions of our fears than it is to forge with the convictions of our courage. That seems counter-intuitive, so why? It's safer. Fear averts potential danger from the unknown, while courage confronts it. Clearly, there is an inverse relationship. However, in the course of my life, I have found an interesting continuum between fear (oppression) and courage (freedom). The more the "unknown" (i.e. danger, failure, loss, rejection, etc.) materialized in my life, the more my fears decreased and my courage increased. So, the "unknown" got me closer to courage and freedom. I once heard someone say, "There's relief in failure." He probably did not mean it in the same context, but it certainly makes sense to me.

I don't know that we will ever revert to the state of freedom that exists in children. They don't consider or analyze dangers within the scope of their wants and desires, so they don't yield to any warning signs. For example, a four year old doesn't normally think to stop for oncoming traffic when he/she hears the ice cream truck. A child doesn't perceive the danger of going with a stranger when his heart's content is to play with a puppy. A state of total freedom can sometimes eradicate the line that separates safety from danger, good from bad, and right and wrong.

Although I am pretty courageous, I am cautious in my pursuits and undertakings. During moments of meditation, I think about things that I would like to pursue, and I parse out the ones that I have convinced myself may not be a good idea. This helps me understand me a little better. It also helps me approach situations that I deem highly improbable or tenuous with courage and resolve, irrespective of obstacles. I do consider the obstacles for the purpose of planning around them, but I don't allow them to overcome me. That's my way of preserving some of that 'free' child in me.


To view the documentary, visit:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=392735126&blogID=432781459